Author Archives: Old Sid Vicious

About Old Sid Vicious

After successfully faking his death in 1979, Sid Vicious went into hiding in New York City. Unsuccessful in his efforts to discover the real killer of his girlfriend Nancy, he made his way to Los Angeles, where he kicked junk with the help of The Church of Synanon. He used his royalties from The Great Rock and Roll Swindle to purchase an estate in Honduras, where he erected several greenhouses. His subsequent propagation experiments involving the hybridization of rare orchids (he developed several hybrid species, including Cyrtopodium ritcheii and Spiranthes simon) have revolutionized horticulture. Those close to him report that he is dismissive of his stint as the Sex Pistols bassist, referring to it as, “that twilit era of my life when hubris very nearly got the better of me.” In the late nineties, he returned to Britain and took up residence in his childhood village of Tunbridge Wells, where he resides to this day. He is an amateur fishkeeper, specializing in marine aquaria, and an enthusiastic birder, having established an endowment for the preservation of the black-crowned night heron (Nycticorax nycticorax,) the doleful cry of which he is rumored to be an excellent mimic.

Seven Things We Can’t Be Fucked About – Brain Spurs For The Me/You/Now Generation

Every single thing we shouldn’t be talking about now whispered into the ear hole of a night heron and left to echo throughout eternity. Continue reading

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Seven Things We Can’t Be Fucked About This Week — All These Fucking Frozen Moments

Every single thing we shouldn’t be talking about now cooked up on a spoon and injected into the space between your toes. Continue reading

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Seven Things We Can’t Be Fucked About This Week — Men in White Hats Edition

Every single thing that we shouldn’t be talking about now combined in one easy-to-swallow gel cap. Continue reading

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Seven Things We Can’t Be Fucked About This Week — Bollocks Edition

“I have no expectations darling, I have merely brought along my erect prosthetic penis in case of unanticipated contingency.” Continue reading

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