I’M A DEMOCRAT. I think. The lines seem so blurred these days. But I stand for America in all of its magnificent diversity. You might call me a liberal. And I’m okay with that. Means I champion Lady Liberalty. What I don’t feel great about is being pegged as “liberal elite.” I believe it’s the right’s way of saying, “Quit yer critical thinkin’ and yer educated assessin’ and git with the Confederacy.” Wait wait! I just sounded smarmy and snooty, like a liberal elitist. Sorry. But wait. Maybe I am liberal elite. Well sheeeeiiit! Whattya know. Guess I’ll have to start celebrating my liberal elitism with a hashtag…
On an escalator, I know to stand right/walk left, and if you don’t, I will be very quietly annoyed. #liberalelite
I NEVER litter, except for tiny rolled up Trident gum wrappers and cigarette butts. #liberalelite
I would never shoot a moose, but would definitely eat moose meat on a gourmet burger with caramelized onions. #liberalelite
I’m not ok with white people using the N-word unless it’s Twain, Tarantino or the 94-year old guy selling used Band-Aids outside my post office. #liberalelite
I can name all the U.S. presidents except for 31 of them. #liberalelite
I still find Isabella Rossellini attractive. #liberalelite
I try not to drink more than a case of Dr. Pepper in a week. #liberalelite
When I hear a bump in the night, my 1st instinct before grabbing a gun is to embrace my silly fear and channel it into a screenplay. #liberalelite (p.s. I don’t own a gun)
I prefer the UK Office to the American version. #liberalelite
I visit the dentist once a year. #liberalelite
I enjoy movies with plot twists. #liberalelite
I love brioche croutons in my split pea soup. #liberalelite
I prefer not to put a spoiler on the back of my Subaru. #liberalelite
I can last 45 minutes watching a movie with subtitles before falling asleep. #liberalelite
I laughed at Emoju #liberalelite
