When I made the decision to leave, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t thinking much about them. I mean, I figured they’d be better off without me, but that wasn’t the defining factor. I felt like I was drowning and I had to save myself. And I know it sounds like a cliche but I wanted to live and I’d made a terrible mistake getting involved with them, at that time, who I was then, so I had to truck. I think about them now and again but mostly I try to focus on forward. Like a shark. Looking for plankton or seals, chocolate of the sea.
I’ve never been one to travel light, and so inevitably I find myself bogged down or otherwise filled to capacity. But now I’m nobody’s problem, I roll my own. I’m past the point of pretending I’m anything other than the obvious. It was most likely always going to end up this way.
I dive down, down, if anyone was on the surface, anyone was there to care, this is when they might start to worry. But I know what I’m doing, I’ve got this.
Photography by Dennie Eagleson
Writing by Rachel Pollon