Author Archives: Lawrence Benner

About Lawrence Benner

Lawrence Benner squandered his early years as a punk guitarist and chapbook-slinging street poet in the Mission District of San Francisco. He did a decade as a subway musician in ex-Communist East Germany, worked as a zusammenfassung schreiber for the legendary Schaubühne am Lehniner Platz in Berlin, and went on to write, produce, and direct three failed low-budget films for the independent production company Buried Pictures. (In reference to his 2002 film, Ether, actor Willem Dafoe scribbled, "Liked it" on a yellow Post-it note.) Mr. Benner has been a Weeklings contributing editor since 2012, and when he isn’t writing this bio, he can be found hard at work on his debut novel, Memorial World. He lives in Asheville, North Carolina with his common-law wife and three insubordinate cats.

THE 50 GREATEST IDEAS I’VE FOUND SCRIBBLED ON SCRAPS OF PAPER IN MY POCKET AFTER I’VE BEEN DRINKING

“Her boyfriend is that handsome magical vampire from the past, Edgarton. There’s no way she would ever notice me. I try to sweep my hair all the way across my forehead and listen to Maroon 5, but it’s just no use.” Continue reading

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JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU

Someone wants to kill Lawrence Benner. At the mall. Continue reading

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And To All a Good Night

In this holiday trilogy that should be read around the fire, Lawrence Benner brilliantly captures the heart and soul of Christmas. Plus evil, redemption, and the lifting of veils. Continue reading

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Turning Rebellion Into Money

Resigned to cultural plagiarism and the widespread appropriation of both Art and Punk, Lawrence Benner blows a hole in Ronald McDonald’s plastic forehead in revenge. Continue reading

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The Flowering of Malice

Larry Benner goes back to the very beginning and then explains the world in twenty installments. Plus, rats the size of Schnauzers. Continue reading

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A Letter from Mayberry: The South Versus the GOP

Lawrence Benner takes a look at the place of his birth, North Carolina, and where it fits into the political and cultural landscape of The South in 2013. Continue reading

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The Search For Symphonions: A Brief History Of Patrick Swayze, Submerged Towns, Giant Phalluses, And Haunted Ice-Sculptures, or, How To Transform Yourself Into A Mole

Larry Benner searches for the truth about a secret society of musical instrument makers, and on the way runs into the ghost of Patrick Swayze. Continue reading

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What’s Trending in Idolatry?

A visual tour through the twilight of the idolators, Larry Benner leads you down the eighth coil of Tupac, through the beverage choices of Sid Vicious, and past the full-body tattoo that is Atticus Finch. Continue reading

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Luka Magnotta in the Hall of Mirrors: A Brief History of True Crime

Wherein Larry Benner delivers a glimpse into madness. And pulp. And legend. And 24 hour murder. Continue reading

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Some Thrive, Some Die

Ruminations on the end. And The End. Continue reading

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Licking Things: A History

The oral history of licking as presented by Lawrence Benner, who has spent years in the field researching the matter and is considered an expert in the field. Also, KISS. Continue reading

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The Schaubühne

In Berlin in the early 90s, Lawrence Benner—who at the time is a squatter and a subway musician—wangles a job reading plays for The Schaubühne am Lehniner Platz. Continue reading

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