Seven Things We Don’t Care About This Week

“Not caring about things since 1971, so that you don’t have to.”

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7. Comic-Con
Grow the fuck up already.

6. Ray Rice’s apology, Jonah Hill’s apology, Steven A. Smith’s apology, Gary Oldman’s apology
We’re sorry, but yawn.

5. CrossFit
The empty storefronts. The Soviet-era mats. Kettle bells, sweat, and that guy who just won’t stop talking about it.

4. Eric Cantor’s next move
Lobbyist? Hedgefunder? Fox pundit? Two years of vital public service leveraged into a vast pile of dragon’s gold.

3. The Bachelorette 
Ruining our Twitter feed every Monday. And cerebellum Sunday nights.

2. What Khloe Kardashian thinks about Adrienne Bailon
Her 15 minutes were up a day and fourteen minutes ago.

1. SarahPalinChannel.com
Unfortunately, it’s not porn.

Image: Sportsman Channel.

Image: Sportsman Channel.

 

 

 

About Billy The Poet

J. Edgar Nation must die.
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