Seven Things We Don’t Care About This Week — Platitudinous Tripe for the Ho Hum Generation

“Not caring about things since 1971, so you don’t have to.”

 

Michael Holley's Home Computer 1978

 

Stuff You Probably Never Knew ExistedCreepy Rare Animals, Sex Phobias, Strange Medieval Terms, Canned Foods, YouTube Tricks, Earth Anomalies, DSLR Features, Hotel Butlers, Book Sequels, Manicure Tips, Cool Websites, Keyboard Shortcuts, Super-Awesome IPhone Tricks, Creepy Serial Killers, Religions, Cable News Shows, Laws, Gluten-Free Menus, Fruit-Slicing Tools, Photos of One Direction, Useful Inventions, Pepsi Flavors, Totally Awesome Kitchen Gadgets, Italian Beach Resorts, Sex-Related Words, Black Western Movies, Jaw-Dropping Weapons from World War II, Unusual Sex Fetishes, Football-Related Jobs, Home Safety Tips, Wrestling Music Albums, Candies, and Dolphins you Probably Never Knew Existed. Ignorance is bliss.

 

porkbrains_sm

 

Big Tech Corporations Buying Smaller Tech Corporations for Gazillions of Dollars Because They Developed an App That Makes It Easier to Do Things No One Should Ever Do — Looking at you, Twitch, the software platform that lets you watch other people play video games.

People Who Think Obama is The Antichrist — Obama is not the Antichrist. He is Cthulu, the Great Old One who lies in death-like sleep in the sunken city of R’lyeh.

Twerking — Who cares if the fabric of the universe has been gradually ingurgitated by the undulating motion of your buttocks and life as we know it is coming to an end, right?

 

Two women twerking

 

Craigslist — There are easier ways to stalk and kill people, with far more elegant graphic interfaces. For instance, internet start-up SerialKillApp, recently purchased by Google for 785 gazillion dollars.

Death — I used to think you were cool, dude.

 

reaper_sm

 

Lists of Things on the Internet — 1.) Lazy, 2.) Stupid, 3.) Secondary Lists within the Original List: a.) Distracting, b.) Confuse the Issue, c.) Cascading Lists Originating from Secondary Lists that Spawn Multiple Sub-Lists: Subsection 1a.) No Way Out Now, Subsection 2b.) Air Getting Thinner, etc.

About Don and Jenny Armbruster

Don and Jenny Armbruster met in the Peace Corps in Switzerland in 1992. After two years of digging wells in Basel, they moved to the Upper East Side, where Don opened the world-renown Armbruster Gallery. Jenny has posed for some of the top avant garde painters and theoretical sculptors working today. They collect rare Merlot, raise championship beagles, and remain huge supporters of the arts. They are presently working together on a cookbook called "Eating Like Van Gogh: Fine Cuisine for Starry Nights."
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