Sunday Light and Word – Decembering

 

 

 

 

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He called me the day after his son was born. I thought he was talking about getting a dog. Made no mention those nine months his baby was gestating. The mother named the child after part of a fish. So it wasn’t a connection that was festooned with joy or anything outside of confusion.

Then he drifted out of my life. A few phone calls erupted with demands as he fled one place for another. Always shrieking, always broken, always lost. And I wondered one time as his voice came at me like a fist across the towers of cell phone impudence, what I must have sounded like. But I didn’t make those kinds of phone calls. I had known what was my problem all along, even if I kept at it. His distress worsened with age. It disrupted logic and patience and AA meetings with a singularity as firm as its borderline dissonance. You see people like him shouting at telephone poles.

But I also see him in Decembers like the one we’re in now. Trembling hands scurrying over the packages denoting his aged supremacy over me. I see that instead of the fear of abandonment that operates inside of him. Everything a dichotomy, everything coded one way or the other, never strung in between. He doesn’t miss me. And soon I will no longer miss him.

 

 

 

by Hank Cherry

About Hank Cherry

Hank Cherry works as a photographer, filmmaker and writer in Los Angeles. His work has appeared in Slake, Southwestern American Literature, Poydras Review, and The Los Angeles Review of Books and he writes a column about the history of jazz for Offbeat. He is in post production on his first full-length documentary.
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