“Not caring about things since 1971, so you don’t have to.”
7. Celebrity Entrepreneur Bastards — On investment TV shows like Shark Tank, celebrity venture capitalists like Kevin O’Leary of SoftKey, and Laurie Greiner of QVC, and Daymond John of FUBU consistently advise hopeful entrepreneurs that to lower costs and increase profits they must shift production to China, all the while waving the Stars-and-Stripes and waxing poetic about how entrepreneurship is the realization of the fucking American Dream, when in reality shifting production to China just consigns more human beings to virtual slavery in Foxconn. There’s little girls—ten-year-olds—with bleeding fingers, stitching together cheap ready-to-wear for the gluttonous bastards of Middle America, and these diamond-pinky-ring bastards fucking encourage it, clinking champagne glasses on yachts in celebration of their dirty deals, ha-ha-ha-how-fucking-clever-we-are gaming the system . . . and it makes my blood boil.
6. Luxury Upscaling of Shite — We’ve become so bloody habituated to plastic manufactured shite that authentic quality shite’s an abnormality and we’re prepared to pay premium for what was once just regular run-of-the-mill shite.
5. People What Ain’t Me — Sometimes they get to mouthing off and I wanna smash ‘em in the gob just for existing. But I’m all for the nonviolence now.
4. Adam Sandler — Forget that he’s about as funny as Jerry Lewis with Tourette’s.
3. Acceptance of Everything as Normal — I’d be the first to admit that I wasn’t always the most liberal person. My insecurities fostered a sort of condescending rage and an antipathy for what I understood as weakness. But what I was really doing was attempting to distance myself from my own weaknesses by focusing on what I couldn’t accept in other people. I would attack and scapegoat things in others that was unacceptable in my own character. Fuck it. Let ’em do what they want.
2. Now You Have to Pretend Bruce Jenner isn’t a Superficial Attention-Seeking Git Famous for Multiple Expensive Botched Plastic Surgeries.
1. Not Everybody what Wears a Bloody Uniform is a Bloody Hero — Some of them is murderous cunts. It’s a fucking wonder it’s controversial to say this in the post-Nazi era. The cops literally turned their backs on New York mayor Bill de Blasio for even suggesting that shite wasn’t kosher in the police forces of America. Until we stop saying everybody’s automatically a bloody hero just because they pin on a badge and strap on a gun, we’ll never get to the root of the problem: some of them ain’t heroes—a certain percentage are sadists, a certain percentage have mental or behavioral problems—just like a certain percentage of the population in general. Some of ‘em join the cops ‘cause they want to be cowboys, some like to have power over others, some want to be a part of a good-old-boy fraternity that operates above the law. How many serial killers either worked in law enforcement or impersonated police officers? How many former soldiers have committed rapes and civilian murders? How many cops have shot and killed unarmed black men for no other reason than they were black? Until you expose the fact that a lot of these fucks is racist trigger-finger hicks with mental disorders and persecution complexes, they’ll keep going out and strangling and beating and Tasing and shooting young black men with impunity.