Mitt Romney Translated Into English: Paul Ryan Edition


“Quick, protect marriage from that godless lesbian couple across the street. Even though they have a daughter who we sometimes have over for play-dates. And they helped me jump start my Lexus that one time. And gave us peach chutney for Christmas even though we didn’t give them anything. Actually, you know what? They’re pretty cool when you start talking to them and…oh, fuck it. As long as they invite us to the reception.”

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