I’M NOT A MAN.
No matter how hard I try to get rid of this part of my body that tries to escape from me once a month — what feels like a Victorian-handled ladle — it can’t seem to find its way out. However, I’ve watched many (read: all of the) Robert Mitchum (rawr!) and John Wayne films, I’ve read my first and only What Your Man Wants From You article (I find solace in knowing the article was not from Cosmo), and I’ve taken an informal survey of dudes that I know, and here’s what I’ve found out: fellas aren’t THAT much different than ladies. In fact, in many ways, men are even more needy, more vulnerable and exponentially crazier than the women they’re forever complaining about.
Guys want to feel not just attractive, but sexually appealing to their ladies, even before their morning coffee, bed-head and all. They want to know that they drive their woman crazy once in a while. Their needs are simple, but many: they want to be wanted, care-givers, protectors,, providers and lovers; men are driven to make an indelible mark on the world before they die and they want we ladies to support them in their making of said mark. Whether it’s via album, film, book, dude/husband-dom, fatherhood, political stance or anything else, the dudes want you to remember that they were there. So without further ado, grab your guy and feel him up!
Fellas, you’re silly and you’re fun when you’re naked and you, at least most of the time, make us feel silly and fun when you’re naked. Your being naked means you are going to be, are currently or just did have fun! Yes, your naked confidence may be faked, but we believe in the “fake it ‘til you make it” mantra, so fake it with us. Be your hot hotness and be happy with yourself naked. We find confidence attractive – VERY attractive. Who cares if you forgot to manscape – c’mon and have naked fun with us! Also: NAKED!! Validation: you’re hot, you’re clever, you make us nervous, but that makes us want to get even more naked with you!
After naked fun you, dude, have made your mark – on our heads, our hearts and our insides. And you did it right in time. You make us weak inside and make us bite things (not those things, unless you ask). You drive even the most hardened of us, when you move the right way, crazy in ways that make us unable to stop thinking about you. You have little triggers too! OK, not that little. Validation: don’t stop doing that, you’re doing things the right way. Indelible mark: right here.
Oh Lord, I’d “validate” the bejeezus out of Bruce Springsteen – then, now, whenever – and its 100% because of this song. Honestly, it was really hard for me to not make all three of these songs Bruce Springsteen songs, but then you’d know about my unhealthy obsession with the Springsteen and that’s a conversation for another time. This song has everything to validate your dude: love, yearning, vulnerability, clarity, communication, protection and manly manliness. Ladies, go out and kill your dude on the street tonight with an everlasting kiss. Be a tramp that is born to run away with him from this highway jammed with broken heroes. Wrap your legs around your fella’s velvet rims, strap your arms across his engines and let him take you both away from everything. Let your guy guard your dreams and visions. That’s what he really wants to do for you. That’s what makes him feel like a man – like he’s THE man. Validation: Dudes, YOU’RE Bruce!