Author Archives: Sean Beaudoin

About Sean Beaudoin

Sean Beaudoin (@seanbeaudoin) is the author of five novels, including The Infects and Wise Young Fool. His new short story collection, Welcome Thieves, is just out with Algonquin Books.

Mitt Romney Translated Into English: Paul Ryan Edition

Posted on August 22, 2012 by Sean Beaudoin

Sean Beaudoin takes direct quotes from Ol’ Salt n’ Pepper, breaks them down into easily understood component parts, and thereby reveals their intent, subtext, and Latter Day gigolo heart. Continue reading →

Posted in Politics | Tagged Arnold, Barack Obama, Dana Plato, George Romney, Hitler, Mitt Romney, Ol' Salt n' Pepper, Silvio Berlusconi, Spicoli, The Angel Moroni, Willis | 4 Comments

Raw Book Reviews by the Restlessly Deceased: J.R.R. Tolkein on George R.R. Martin

Posted on August 15, 2012 by Sean Beaudoin

During each installment of this regular and beloved feature, a new book is reviewed from beyond the grave by a restless author of yore. This week, J.R.R. Tolkein busts a hobbit on George R.R. Martin’s “A Feast for Crows.” Continue reading →

Posted in Book Reviews by the Restlessly Deceased | Tagged George R. R. Martin, J.R.R. Tolkien, reviews | Leave a comment

The Ten Worst Numbers of All Time

Posted on August 8, 2012 by Sean Beaudoin

Wherein Sean Beaudoin proves that integer fan boys can suck it. Continue reading →

Posted in Popular Culture | Tagged 864, copycat, derivative, fanboy, fourteen, Ludwig, Olympics, sell out, sixty one, thirty seven, Tori Spelling, worst | 10 Comments

Author to Author: Raw Book Reviews by the Restlessly Deceased

Posted on August 1, 2012 by Sean Beaudoin

During each installment of this regular and beloved feature, a new book is reviewed from beyond the grave by a restless author of yore. This week, Ernest Hemingway tolls a bell for Danielle Steel’s “Friends Forever.” Continue reading →

Posted in Book Reviews by the Restlessly Deceased | Tagged cornbread, Danielle Steel, genius, Hemingway, Izzy, left bank, rhinos, Toklas | 2 Comments

The Ten Bands I Will be Pleasured With in Heaven

Posted on July 18, 2012 by Sean Beaudoin

Last week, Sean Beaudoin was in musical hell. This week, it’s the Pearly Gates. Which bands does he like? Hint: there’s no “Tears in Heaven” in heaven. Continue reading →

Posted in Popular Culture | Tagged Beach Boys, Billy Joel, Counting Crows, Creed, Elysian Fields, Eric Clapton, Oasis, Sting, Weezer | 26 Comments

The Ten Bands I Will be Forced to Listen to in Hell

Posted on July 11, 2012 by Sean Beaudoin

In which Sean Beaudoin spins a playlist even Mephistopheles doesn’t have the balls to play. Continue reading →

Posted in Popular Culture | Tagged DJ, hell, I shot the sheriff, Mr. Jones, Music, pet sounds, The devil, The Police | 53 Comments

I’ll Give up my Independence When You Pry it From my Hot, Sweaty Puberty

Posted on July 4, 2012 by Sean Beaudoin

It’s July 4th at Camp Cement, and the keg is empty…but the arts and crafts have just begun. Continue reading →

Posted in Memoir, Popular Culture | Tagged holiday, independence day, keilbasa, Summer camp, Yul Brenner is hot, yurt | Leave a comment