The Week in Bad Poems

A Sterling Situation

The latest Middle East Crisis
Concerns a fanatical group called ISIS —
Like the Talibs, they are, only harsher.
Or so I’ve read. I’m not so sure
I haven’t seen this all before
On an episode in season four
Of Archer.

Melo on the Move?

The free agent scorer Carmelo
To the Bulls, Mavs and Rockets said “Hello.”
Will he play with Kobe Bryant?
Remain a New York giant?
Either way, he plays defense like Jell-O.

Death by IUD

Jesus had absolutely nothing to say
About contraception (or being gay),
But Hobby Lobby believes anyway
That Plan B prevents something that might-could maybe be alive,
And that’s murder! Scalia and company
For the unwantedly-pregnant Hobby Lobby employee
Prefer, it seems, the old-school plan B:
Coat hangers are in Aisle Five.



About Billy The Poet

J. Edgar Nation must die.
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