12 Musicians Who Died This Year Respond to the Election of Donald Trump

After a week of crippling depression in which I could barely accept the election as a concept, let alone reality, I awoke thinking that well-meaning discourse no longer had any value. Neither did angry debate, partisan factualizing, or long-form essays about the relative bias of the Electoral College. In a world where sixty million people think Donald Trump would make a fine leader, it’s possible that music is all we have. Or at least have left. Our minds and how they process intervals and pitch, an understanding of percussion, the emotional impact of voice and lyrics upon the limbic system. In 2016 a song means more than any policy, since policies are usually measured by the degree to which they continue not to work. Musicians climb onstage, naked and vulnerable, any given bass player possessing more authenticity than a gerrymander’s worth of  slick congressmen. While listening to Mose Allison’s “Swingin’ Machine”  I was suddenly sure that the musicians who have recently left us did so with a wisdom we can never hope to replicate–of the eight billion people on the planet, it is only the dead who are no longer tormented by the rise of Donald Trump.

  1. Leonard Cohen, “Famous Blue Raincoat”

I found Songs of Love and Hate in my mother’s record collection in eighth grade. The small corner of the shelf she was allotted by my father held maybe a dozen albums: Seals & Crofts, the Doobie Brothers, the Mamas & the Papas, Simon & Garfunkel. I was just graduating from KISS to Blue Oyster Cult and so didn’t have much hope for ampersands or Leonard Cohen, but the anger imbued in the title was promising. From the first baritone warble, I knew someone else in the world understood my pubescent depression, could sing it back at me as both taunt and comfort. Leonard crafted the lyrics of “Famous Blue Raincoat” using a stripped down version of Greek verse called amphibrach–basically a Once Was A Man From Nantucket ditty–about a woman, a brother, and a killer. Which perfectly sums up the 2016 election: the woman (Hillary) is constantly exposed to a looming pervert in a blue raincoat. Obama is the brother, her keeper and shepherd. Trump, of course, is the alley predator who thinks flashing his unwanted anatomy is a form of seduction.

“And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
I’m glad you stood in my way.”

 

 

2. Devo, “Uncontrollable Urge”

Political parties and rote ideology are meaningless, the only side worth belonging to is AHA: Against Hypocrisy, Always. During the 80s, I ranted about Ronald Reagan’s cynical embrace of evangelism. Four years later, I chose Dukakis over the man who used Willie Horton as a cudgel. Bill Clinton had myriad problems, but after watching an impeachment led by Newt Gingrich, who spoke daily of “family values” while conducting his own secret affair, and whose fraudulent Contract With America remains the blueprint for cowardly obstructionism, there was no other option. In the 90s I twice voted against George W. Bush’s “Compassionate Conservatism,” which was neither compassionate nor conservative. In fact, it was cruel and avowedly profligate. Did I love Al Gore or John Kerry? No, but there’s little doubt they would have repudiated the neocon fantasy that Al-Qaeda could be defeated by invading Iraq, or that Nation Building was possible on a foundation of thousands of years of tribal hatred. I chose Obama over John McCain’s hypocritical defense of Sarah Palin’s competence, and then again over Mitt Romney’s smug classism. Which brings us, finally, to Donald Trump’s Uncontrollable Urge. Trump is more than just the epitome of hypocrisy, he’s the only man in America who the term cannot begin to contain. Devo warned us in the early 80’s that we were going to Devolve, most likely at the end of a whip, before being shoved down the gullet of a beast of pure egotistical need. And they were right. RIP Bob “Bob 2” Casale.

 

 

3. Earth, Wind, & Fire,  “Shining Star”

So then, how to fight? Sure, blocking traffic while waving a sign that says “Build a fence around Mike Pence” or “You can’t comb over misogyny” or “Nigel Farage is a weaselly cunt” feels good, but is unlikely to dent the gilded edges of a Trump presidency much. The nation voted, leaving a 242-pound baby on our collective doorstep, a note pinned to its chest that says, Sucker! That we now have to live with this gluttonous bundle is both a tragedy and possibly karmic vengeance for failing to recognize the menace soon enough. The only prescription is to move forward with class and dignity. Or at least hold our ground until after the four most disastrous years in the history of the republic, at which time Malia Obama will be elected to her first term. It’ll be essential that we proved in the interim our institutions cannot be diminished, regardless of who occupies them. This country is indeed a Shining Star, the product of the only revolution in the history of the world that not only succeeded, but continues to hew respectably close to its original aims. Four years of Trump can’t change that. As impossible as it seems now, one day soon the incubus will be gone, but a slightly tarnished star will remain. RIP Maurice White.

 

 

4. Suicide, “Ghost Rider”

If Alan Vega were president, he would put Merrick Garland on the Supreme Court now. RIGHT THIS SECOND. The Senate’s deeply unpatriotic refusal to Advise & Consent have made Garland our national Ghost Rider: a man without a position, a vote, a seat, or a robe. It’s up to President Obama to appoint Garland immediately and without Senate approval. Let them sue. Let them protest. Let them scream and tear out their remaining hair. It is both legally and procedurally defensible, a move that would also serve to establish the much-needed precedent that nominees are impervious to parliamentary tactics and rote obstructionism. Hey, did you know that the great Chief Justice Earl Warren was also a recess appointment? Well, he was. RIP Alan Vega.

 

 

5. Leon Russell, “Tightrope”

I was for Bernie at the outset. Doesn’t matter much now, although it does hurt, because (shut up) he would have beaten Trump. So why didn’t I scream from the rooftops, volunteer for phone banks, hand out pamphlets at Safeway, and knock on every door from here to Reno? Because I was a coward. I was so terrified by the notion of a Trump presidency that I allowed myself to be convinced Hillary could better withstand Republican (FBI/Breitbart) opposition research (false), that she was the most prepared candidate in the history of American elections (likely true), and that even while flawed, she was still plenty smart and capable (no doubt). Unfortunately, none of her positive attributes were enough to override the fact that she was also a Clinton–and it should have been more than evident by Iowa that this country had come to loathe its royalty. Hey, Jeb Bush was the best of the 182 republican candidates–mild, reasonable, relatively sane. But he was also a Bush, and no one wanted any part of him. Over the last four decades we’ve had Reagan/Bush, then solo Bush, then eight years of Bill, followed by almost four of Clinton-proxy Al Gore, then eight years of Bush II, during which he defeated another Clinton-proxy in John Kerry. So basically the Habsburgs, but with less hemophilia. By the end of the primaries it was obvious, as Donald Trump gnawed on subway cars, snapped electrical wires, and stomped all over downtown Tokyo, that Establishment Candidates had zero chance in 2016. Say what you want about Bernie, but he was not an establishment candidate, and if we’d had the stones and foresight to stick by him, the country would this very second be basking in the glow of President Sanders.

 

 

6. Sharon Jones – “All Of It

In retrospect, it was clearly Sharon Jones who should have been our first female president.

 

 

7. John Coltrane, “A Love Supreme”

It’s possible that “A Love Supreme” is the greatest album ever recorded. It’s  almost certainly the most accessible and convincingly spiritual, a four-part suite that transcends genre. Coltrane insisted his saxophone was not under his control, but instead a instrument used as the expression of a higher power. The music itself is full of majesty and joy, alternately profound and abstract. Listening to A Love Supreme makes mockery of politics, denies the importance of temporal concerns, repudiates taking sides, vanquishes hatred and distrust and revenge. “Acknowledgement” says there are no leaders or political parties or policy prescriptions that will save us. “Resolution” insists that in the end there is only art. “Pursuance” asserts that creativity is humanity’s sole item of value, its only lasting pursuit, aside from caring for friends and family. “Psalm” concludes that all else is delusion–victory, money, acquisition, pride, approval, conquest. Fifty years after John Coltrane’s death, the intervals he played, the breath he expelled, the beauty he carved out of nothing–is more than enough to provide four years of solace. RIP Rudy Van Gelder

 

 

8. Prince, “Horny Pony”

At this point, why bother pretending the outcome of the election (or lack of an acceptable one) wasn’t almost entirely due to the deep strain of sexual repression, denial, and body-terror that is uniquely American? We finally paid the price for our national and profoundly childish need to disavow biological and carnal needs, to feign self-control over physical compulsion, and to embrace the truly erotic for the gift it is. Why do we insist our leaders pretend to be celibate? Why equate being vanilla to being honorable? Or insist that kinkiness is a measure of bad judgment while clotted appetite is the path to rectitude and virtue? Prince knew it was all about the fucking. The seduction. The rhythm, the back-beat, the ass-less yellow pants. He embraced desire without apology, his entire career the assertion that if we allowed ourselves to be unrepentantly Horny Ponies, Donald Trump and men like him would be outcasts. Trump has the veneer of sexuality, but it’s an underhanded eroticism, rooted in the insecure, in cruelty and fraudulent domination. No man as hollow, charmless, and ethically venereal as Donald Trump should ever hold office, anywhere. Prince knew that. Turns out he was trying to tell us for years.

 

https://youtu.be/x7P9NEkv46E

 

9. David Bowie, “Sound and Vision”

The great David Bowie, with this endearingly upbeat and positive song, reminds us that we must forgive ourselves. For being too inward, too dismissive, too derisive, too complicit in the adherence to a false narrative. David says that it’s time to open our minds to a way of seeing the world that Trump-ness inspires in our fellow Americans. To deny the concepts of red and blue, left and right, right and wrong. David says we should accept humanity for all its unique imperfections. Which brings us to Caligula, probably the most deranged leader in the history of the western world. His actual name was Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, but was called Caligula, which means “little boot,” because after his father had won yet another battle across the Rhine, Young Caligula was told to stomp on the heads of wounded enemies, ensuring they were dead. It’s not hard to imagine how this might have affected a boy’s relative level of sanity later in life. I’ve come to think of Trump in the same way. What chance did Young Donald have to become other than who and what he is? Bullied by his father, raised in ostentatious wealth and decadence, privy to the affairs and adultery of his parents, unloved and abandoned, a scion pawned off to military school, a man who romped through the decadence of the eighties with nothing to increase his sense of humanity or ethics except, perhaps, a slight pity for those who desired his cash. Is the Sound and Vision of Young Donald enough to make you love him now, just a little bit, for the needy harlequin he has so clearly become? David Bowie says that if perhaps love is a little strong, there’s always compassion.

 

 

10. Bad Brains, “Banned in DC”

It was a bleak and culturally empty time, the mid-80’s. I was deep into hardcore for any number of reasons, but mostly because its rawness and energy and anger seemed the only viable response to the intellectually dead presidency of Ronald Reagan, and the sterile music and movies and literature of the time. Hardcore was a big middle finger to absurd hair and Bruce Springsteen and the “Greed is good” mentality that stretched from Chess King to T.J. Maxx in malls across America. The most important band of the 80s was unquestionably Bad Brains, who fused reggae and hardcore in a way that actually made sense. By their mere existence they tore the heart out of nationalist skinheads and racist punks by easily being the most talented musicians on the scene, if not the most dynamic, aggressive, and original band in America. The warp speed at which they played destroyed Synchronicity and Howard Jones and Hungry Like The Wolf. It was exactly the speedball that sweaty, hormonal teenagers needed jabbed into the crook of their arms, the perfect accompaniment for slamming into one another in abandoned houses and random basements, throwing elbows and knees, jumping off of stages, and, for some, managing to stay in the closet just a little longer. The chaos was liberating, and while you could make a case for Minor Threat on different terms and for other reasons, everyone knew Bad Brains were the Kings Of It All. I was eighteen when I first saw them and it changed my life, in turns liberating and terrifying, which is just how a true cultural tilt should feel. There was a palpable sense, while crushed against the wall at the 930 Club, that we were about to emerge from a regressive stasis like the baby Alien gnawing its way out of John Hurt’s chest,  and that HR and Darryl and Earl and Dr. Know would lead us there. So then how have we managed to throw away all the gains in justice and personal liberation and social consciousness that the redemptive dub of one band laid out so clearly for us thirty years ago? How have we returned to Reagan’s America in the form of Trump, which, as it turns out, is vastly more dangerous, dim-witted, and morally vacuous than the worst days under Cap Weinberger and Ed Meese? Madness, that’s how. The great advantage of Fascism is that it does not require coherence. In fact, it thrives on a lack of comprehensibility. Our New Kleptocracy requires a leader who is unintelligible, muddled, disjointed. The fact that Donald Trump made it through an entire national campaign without being able to successfully articulate a single goal or policy position was an evil but possibly genius strategy. We are in the midst of a second Big Take Over, and the only prescription is to Rally Around Jah Throne. Meanwhile, Lazarus may actually exist. Stay strong, Dr. Know

 

 

11. Merle Haggard -“I Think I’ll Just Stay Here and Drink”

Merle Haggard did three years in San Quentin because he refused to be told what to do. The time for mourning and self-pity is over. The Left needs to repudiate Trump and everything he stands for, including the notion of having forgotten a small-town “real America” filled with people who Trump clearly doesn’t stand for. So more apologizing for liking artisinal cheese and Last Day at Marienbad. No more quoting statistics on Arctic permafrost during F-150 commercials. No more asking forgiveness for failing to fully appreciate the pain of Rust Belt workers and their disdain for coastal elites, which they showed by electing a man busy assembling a cabinet of the most elite, out-of-touch, greed-driven oligarchs in the world, not a single one of whom will ever give a flying fuck about the pain of Rust Belt workers. Let’s just take a moment to admit that what “elitist” really means is the ability to jettison bad ideas and received wisdom, of embracing science in place of retrograde dictates, of acknowledging your Destiny was not so Manifest after all, and of no longer allowing your life to be dictated by the ravings of a 2000 year-old book. It’s time for the Left to embrace its inner chilled Sancerre and raise a glass to Merle.

 

12. Kay Starr, “Around the World”

I’m old enough to remember black and white TV, with bad sound and blurry images, when programming shut off at midnight and most of the content was either game shows or variety hours. And I remember Kay Starr. Sitting on my grandmother’s lap, watching a orchestra play behind this woman and her astonishingly beautiful voice. It’s a nice memory. Well, we’re going to find out what we voted for, and soon. Kay Starr knew it under Truman in 1952, and six decades later she passed away, leaving us with this.

 

 

 

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A Series of Tweets from #LiberalElites

I’M A DEMOCRAT. I think. The lines seem so blurred these days. But I stand for America in all of its magnificent diversity. You might call me a liberal. And I’m okay with that. Means I champion Lady Liberalty. What I don’t feel great about is being pegged as “liberal elite.” I believe it’s the right’s way of saying, “Quit yer critical thinkin’ and yer educated assessin’ and git with the Confederacy.” Wait wait! I just sounded smarmy and snooty, like a liberal elitist. Sorry. But wait. Maybe I am liberal elite. Well sheeeeiiit! Whattya know. Guess I’ll have to start celebrating my liberal elitism with a hashtag…

moose_superior

On an escalator, I know to stand right/walk left, and if you don’t, I will be very quietly annoyed. #liberalelite

I NEVER litter, except for tiny rolled up Trident gum wrappers and cigarette butts. #liberalelite

I would never shoot a moose, but would definitely eat moose meat on a gourmet burger with caramelized onions. #liberalelite

I’m not ok with white people using the N-word unless it’s Twain, Tarantino or the 94-year old guy selling used Band-Aids outside my post office. #liberalelite

I can name all the U.S. presidents except for 31 of them. #liberalelite

I still find Isabella Rossellini attractive. #liberalelite

I try not to drink more than a case of Dr. Pepper in a week. #liberalelite

When I hear a bump in the night, my 1st instinct before grabbing a gun is to embrace my silly fear and channel it into a screenplay. #liberalelite (p.s. I don’t own a gun)

I prefer the UK Office to the American version. #liberalelite

I visit the dentist once a year. #liberalelite

I enjoy movies with plot twists. #liberalelite

I love brioche croutons in my split pea soup. #liberalelite

I prefer not to put a spoiler on the back of my Subaru. #liberalelite

I can last 45 minutes watching a movie with subtitles before falling asleep. #liberalelite

I laughed at Emoju #liberalelite

emoju

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Song Beneath the Song: “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen

 ~

 

FREDDIE MERCURY died 25 years ago today. A quarter century gone, he remains the paragon of rock frontmen, his singular talent undisputed. And yet he is as enigmatic now as he was in 1991, as difficult to penetrate as the lyrics of his signature song, “Bohemian Rhapdosy.”

Freddie’s backstory is as unique as any in the long and oft-zany annals of rock ‘n’ roll. Farrokh Bulsara was born on 5 September, 1946, in Zanzibar—then a British protectorate—to Bomi and Jer Bulsara, who hailed from the Gujarat province of India. They were Parsis, Zoroastrians who had fled Iran to avoid religious persecution a thousand years earlier. So Freddie came to the U.K. by way of East Africa by way of India by way of Persia—not quite the same as growing up blue-collar in a flat in Manchester.

Unlike many of his rock contemporaries, he went to college, where he majored in art. He took a job selling secondhand clothes at Kensington Market. Although he was possessed of one of the finest pure singing voices ever bequeathed a mortal man—he could have out-Pavarotti’d Pavarotti—he had no formal vocal training. He was one of the best live performers to ever grace the stage. He named himself after a god. He was fastidiously, Pynchonesquely private, and became notorious for declining interviews. Although he had romantic relationships with women, he was, as he put it when asked, “as gay as a daffodil, my dear.” And when he died on 24 November, 1991, at the age of 42, it wasn’t because his plane went down, or he drank himself to death, or OD’d on smack, or choked on his own vomit—you know, the hackneyed rock star causes of death. Freddie died of bronchial pneumonia brought on by AIDS; he remains arguably the most famous person to die that way. This is the guy who wrote “Bohemian Rhapsody,” which is understood to be some sort of personal statement. Not the easiest psyche to try and divine.

Like the Book of Revelations, “Bohemian Rhapsody” is, by design, confusing, strange, and seemingly nonsensical. Like the Book of Revelations, and again by design, it resists line-by-line analysis. If we invest our time trying to decipher every single word—Scaramouche? Fandango? Galileo Figaro?—we get nowhere. To properly divine the true meaning of the song, we must look at the composition as a whole—lyrics and music.

Many listeners take the song’s violent images at face value, believing that the plot, such as it is, concerns a murderer confessing to his crime. In a song that’s clearly intended to be allegorical, this literal interpretation is too simplistic an explanation, and it doesn’t square with the title—perhaps our most important clue. Bohemian indicates an unorthodox, artistic lifestyle; in 1975, when the song was released, it’s shorthand for gay. “Bohemian Rhapsody” is about Freddie Mercury a) coming out to his mother, and b) reconciling his own sexuality with his conservative upbringing. The murderous imagery—the gun, the trigger, the killing—is a metaphor for active homosexual engagement (“put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead”). When he sings, “Momma, I just killed a man,” he’s not disclosing that he killed a man, but that he “killed” a man.

In the first two verses of the song, he confesses to giving in to his homosexual impulses, which to him is a matter nothing short of life and death (“Life had just begun, and now I’ve gone and thrown it all away,” “I don’t want to die, sometimes wish I’d never been born at all”). He’s depressed, wistful, unsure of himself.

The mock-operatic bridge—and who but Queen could pull that off so successfully?—represents Freddie wrestling with his inner demons. These are all voices in his head. Part of him is excited (“thunderbolts and lighting!”) by the “silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche,” and part of him beseeches the Almighty (Bismillah is the Islamic equivalent of “In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,” or, “In the name of all things holy”) to “spare him his life from this monstrosity”—i.e., his preference for other guys. It is telling that the voices who “will not let [him] go” belong to the tenor, baritone, and bass parts. The females (men singing female parts, actually) lobby for his release; it’s the men who have a hold on him.

He comes out of this tug-of-war resigned to his fate (“Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me!”), and as he repeats the end of this line, his voice climbing the seventh-chord notes (“For me!  For me! For meeeeeeeeee!”)—and if this part of the song does not cause your spirits to soar, you are made of stone—he gradually accepts, and embraces, his sexuality.

During the song’s six minutes, he goes from a place of denial/fear (“I don’t want to die”), to a place of anger/indignation (“can’t do this to me, baby”), and after bargaining (“let me go!”), to a place of acceptance (“any way the wind blows,” cue: gong). It’s basically the Kübler-Ross model, set to some of the most glorious, complex, and beautiful music ever recorded by a rock band. A rock band, it must be pointed out, called Queen.

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Who’s Responsible for Trump winning? Me, of course

I DID THIS. It’s my fault.

Now, I’m not saying I’m singularly responsible for the election of the most unqualified candidate for the presidency in the 240-year history of the republic. I’m neither that potent nor important. But I must bear my share of the blame for why America seemingly decided to break bad.

Yes, I did my citizen’s duty by casting my ballot. I voted for Clinton and Kaine. But I could have done more. I knew from my decades of experience as a journalist covering despotic rulers in the Middle East, Latin America, and elsewhere that the kind of tyranny Trump offers is not an anomaly. In fact, it’s the norm.

People like me who have seen firsthand how toxic this kind of leadership is must speak out and stand up against it. In those countries, where dictators masquerading as proponents of democracy rule, opposition leaders and activists are often imprisoned and killed. We’re not there yet in the U.S., but we could be if people fail to speak up, speak loudly, and speak often.

I told myself I didn’t say more or get involved in the campaign in the name of journalistic impartiality. It wasn’t my place as a purveyor of “objective” truths. At one point during the election, when I did post something particularly scathing about Trump on Twitter, one of my editors  at one of the Big Three networks called me out for “alienating a large portion of our audience.” I was warned to tamp it down or else.

With my wife in her third trimester, I decided I couldn’t risk the loss of income. As it turned out, the outlet cut me off a couple of months later anyway, citing “budget” issues.

After that I largely kept my opinions in check. In the meantime I went about covering stories in Turkey about Syrian refugees that went largely overlooked while Americans watched in either delirious  admiration, or heart attack-inducing exasperation, at the rust-colored, man-boy’s march to the White House.

When Trump won I tried to place the blame for the outcome on others, perhaps subconsciously hoping to deflect it from myself.

I wanted to strangle that portion of the American public obviously lacking an even basic understanding of history (come on, none of you at least googled “Who’s Hitler?” during the course of a race in which Trump was often compared to Der Fuhrer?) or how government works.

Apparently to many Trump supporters, a president is someone who can single-handedly fix everything that ails America with the flick of the wrist. They seem to think that every one of President-elect Trump’s predecessors failed to fix everything because they hate America or simply lack the balls to execute said wrist flick.

These are the same folks who think professional wrestling is real, I told myself as the horrifying results of the election became clear.

But my loathing for misinformed Americans didn’t last long. And it was misguided. Putting many of them all in the same category, or say, “basket of deplorables,” isn’t fair or helpful.

I then turned my ire on the news media that covered this democracy-derailing train wreck of a presidential race.

For more than a year they allowed Trump to largely spout unchecked racist bile for the sake of attracting more eyeballs to their cable news shows and a sharp uptick in web clicks. They did this before summoning the moral fortitude to occasionally call out his cadre of Eva Braun Barbie mouthpieces like Scottie Nell Hughes.

I felt justified in my contempt because I’d covered a portion of the 2008 presidential race from Miami, where I was based at the time, and wrote about Florida’s forever screwball electorate. I reported on how the aging (i.e. dying) Cuban-American population there was firmly in the McCain-Palin corner while the younger, growing generation of Latinos broke for Obama.

As such I was convinced the same would hold true this year, especially since Cheeto Mussolini wanted nothing more than to send many of their recently arrived friends, relatives, and compatriots packing back across the Rio Grande to Mexico, or whichever country they were leaving behind for a better life in America.

That Trump actually did better than Mitt Romney with Latino voters was proof positive in my estimation that this current crop of political reporters had dropped the ball. But my resentment of the press corps covering Trump didn’t stick either. I soon realized this was all on me and I was going to have to own it and do something about if I wanted to look myself in the mirror without disgust.

I won’t keep my mouth shut any longer. I’m afraid America is starting down a very dark path in which thoughtfulness and experience is not revered and rather regarded with suspicion and condemnation.

I’m going to keep speaking out so that four years from now the culmination of my and every reasonable dissenter’s rejection of Trump policy horrors brings us back from the brink of destruction.

Hopefully it isn’t already too late. If so, I have only myself to blame.

1425230898424

The author, pissed and galvanized.

 

 

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An Open Letter to My Fellow Liberals

Dear Fellow Liberals,

We need to harden the fuck up.

We lost this election, in part, because we’re soft. Because we forgot that politics, like life, has always been a brass-knuckles affair, in which victory goes not to the most sensitive or even-handed or inclusive, but to whoever is tougher. Whoever is most willing to get their hands dirty, or even bloody. Whoever is able to see the world as it is, rather than as they would have it be.

While we were all busy policing each other’s pronouns and having long, mutually respectful debates about who is allowed to wear a sombrero and under what circumstances, we lost the White House to Donald Fucking Trump and his legion of cracker-ass shitheads.

There is correlation here, as I hope to demonstrate.

I understand these cracker-ass shitheads. I grew up with them in a dying Maine mill town in the 1980s. I still know some of them, and until recently considered them friends. I am a poor rural white person who happens to have a facility with words, which means I now run in (and largely sympathize with, politically speaking) the crowd of liberal coastal elites who those guys I grew up with loathe so much. I straddle both worlds, part cowboy and part Indian, and as such I am unusually, if not uniquely, qualified to speak to the stances and states of mind of both groups. So believe me when I tell you: those guys I grew up with? Right now, they’re laughing at us.

And not for the reason you think. They’re not laughing because their candidate won the election, though certainly they’re happy about that fact and consider it a resounding validation of their worldview. No, they’re laughing at us because they think we’re a bunch of hypersensitive babies ill-equipped for life in a harshly indifferent world. And guess what? About this, if nothing else, they’re right.

Case in point: a couple of days ago, someone had the idea that white people who align themselves with the struggles and interests of minorities could express that solidarity by wearing safety pins. A daffy notion, not to mention completely meaningless, but fine. Since then, a bunch of other people have complained that wearing safety pins does nothing to help those who are about to have the business end of a Trump presidency shoved up their asses, and further that these safety pins, far from symbolizing solidarity with oppressed groups, could only ever symbolize the wearer’s white privilege.

During that same time, Donald Trump has appointed to his transition team an Orwellian cast of creeps, bigots, and far-right conspiracy nuts, among whom the least frightening figure is Newt Gingrich. Make no mistake: these men plan to do things to us that will hurt a lot more than being called a mean name. And all the while, here we are squabbling about the symbolic value of safety pins.

It’s one thing to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic; quite another to argue about how those chairs should be rearranged, while instead we should be breaking down the door to the bridge before the asshole at the wheel steers us all into an iceberg.

We’ve completely and utterly lost the plot, folks. The world’s on fire, and we’re still carrying on with our petty progressive business as though progressivism as we practice it hasn’t just received the sharpest and most damning rebuke imaginable. We’re still parsing every word until it ceases to have meaning, seeking offense and outrage under every rock, shouting down the people with whom we should be aligned because we’ve come to value the opioid rush of sanctimony over actually, you know, getting something done. We’ve contorted ourselves into a position of utter ineffectuality. That’s why those guys back in my hometown are laughing at us. And that’s why Trump is measuring (undoubtedly tacky) drapes in the West Wing.

Those whose knees are about to jerk, please try to understand: I share all of your values. I am an ally in the meaningful sense—not in in the flaccid, empty way we wield the term these days. I understand that words matter–probably better than you do, considering that words are how I make my living. I am a straight, cisgendered white man who has your best interests at heart. I have physically defended women from other straight, cisgendered white men who meant them harm. If I were walking down the street and someone called someone else a faggot within my earshot, things would get very real for the offending party with a speed and intensity that they almost certainly would not anticipate. And yet, here I am, with a deep understanding of the cracker-ass shitheads who have delivered us unto Trump, and I am imploring you to understand that words are not the hill upon which we want to die. That in fact our obsession with words, and our insistence that they are the fight that matters above all others is, in part, what’s gotten us into this mess.

There is almost nothing in contemporary life that can’t be better understood when viewed through the prism of history. In this instance, the lesson we all could make use of comes from the civil rights movement of the 1960s, and specifically the tenure of Lyndon Johnson in the immediate aftermath of the Kennedy assassination.

LBJ was not, by anyone’s standards, a nice guy. Were he president today, he would probably run afoul of the progressive language police a dozen times a week. He was brutish, crooked, and vengeful, not above using actual physical intimidation to coerce people into voting his way.

You know what else he was? The guy who shoved the Civil Rights Act down the throat of the Southern Bloc opposition in the Senate. Boom.

My point is this: toughness, even coarseness, in the service of that which is good, should not be discouraged or neutered. We need our attack dogs now more than ever. We need, I would submit, to BE attack dogs, each and every one of us. To see the world with clear eyes, endeavor fiercely to change it for the better, and above all refuse to retreat to “safe spaces.” Going to a safe space is no longer an option, if it ever were. Put your head in the sand and it leaves your ass in the air, where anyone can come by and take a whack at it if they want.

Last night I was thinking about all this as I sat at a bar in Manhattan where, according to legend, Ernest Hemingway broke a shillelagh over John O’Hara’s head. Of course in recent years, Papa has fallen out of favor with PC evangelists–too traditionally masculine, too rough, too violent. But it occurred to me, as an anti-Trump rally rumbled by outside, that there was never a time when we so desperately needed to harness a little bit of that Hemingway spirit as right now.

The question, ultimately, is this: what sort of victory do you value more? The kind where you paper over a problem with polite language (as if that’s tantamount to actually solving the problem) and end up with a large swath of the electorate that resents the shit out of you for telling them how to talk? Or the kind where you get to apply your values to law and public policy, thereby making real if incremental progress toward actually improving people’s lives?

Put another way: do you want to be sentimental, or strategic?

If the former is more important to us, then by all means, let’s keep condemning people for saying “tomboy” instead of “gender non-conforming female child,” and let’s then keep pretending, with each successive election cycle, that we don’t understand why we continue to lose even though we’re so clearly on the side of right.

If, however, the latter is more important to us, then let’s harden the fuck up, grab the shillelagh, and get to work.

With great sincerity and affection,

Ron Currie

 

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How to Get Rid of Donald Trump: An Action Plan

THE ASCENSION of Donald Trump to the presidency could have devastating effects: on the economy, on civil rights, on the environment, on foreign relations, on—and this is not hyperbole, given his blase attitude towards nuclear missiles—life as we know it.

We need him to not be president, period; or, if president, to remove him from office as soon as possible, whether through impeachment or resignation. That is the prime directive.

Here’s how:

I: Don’t Feed the Trolls—Even the Famous Ones

Friday night, Vice President-Elect [sic] and gay reparation therapy poster boy Mike Pence went to see the hit Broadway musical Hamilton. When it became evident that he was in attendance, members of the crowd greeted him with lusty boos. At the end of the performance, cast member Brandon Victor Dixon addressed the Indiana governor, saying, “We sir, we, are the diverse America who are alarmed and anxious that your new administration will not protect us — our planet, our children, our parents — or defend us and uphold our inalienable rights, sir. But we truly hope that this show has inspired you to uphold our American values and to work on behalf of all of us. All of us.”

That led President-Elect [sic] and inveterate shit-stirrer Donald J. Trump to tweet: “Our wonderful future V.P. Mike Pence was harassed last night at the theater by the cast of Hamilton, cameras blazing. This should not happen!” and then, “The Theater must always be a safe and special place. The cast of Hamilton was very rude last night to a very good man, Mike Pence. Apologize!”

Twitter went haywire. Trump supporters, taking the notorious liar’s version of what happened at face value, started the #boycottHamilton hashtag, which is still trending as of this writing. Anyone who actually watched the clips and saw what happened were rightly infuriated by Trump’s tweets. First, the cast of the show harassed no one, nor was rude, but rather generous and respectful; it was the audience who booed. Second, here is a recidivist sexual predator, in whose name swastikas are being spray-painted hither and nigh, unironically calling for safe spaces and apologies for rudeness! If you are a reasonable person, one invested in truth and justice and the American way, this tweaks your sense of right and wrong.

But here’s the thing: Donald Trump is a defective human being. He has always been thus. Now that he has been elected president, he’s not going to suddenly, at the age of seventy, become something he’s not. Donald Trump is nothing more than a wealthy internet troll. Again: HE IS AN INTERNET TROLL. He tweets stuff he knows will push people’s buttons, and then sits back and delights in the shit he’s stirred up. That’s what trolls do. Which is why you don’t feed the trolls. Ever. Even—nay, especially—if they are going to be the President of the United States of America.

So Step One is, stop taking the bait. Right now, the brouhaha with Hamilton is on the front page of major newspapers, instead of the fraud trial he just settled for $25 million (Did he cut the check yet? Will he? Can we please see photographic evidence of same, and proof that it didn’t bounce?). This is a problem, and will remain a problem as long as we keep being outraged by every incendiary thing he says. Because the press will cover the “controversy” about some idiotic tweet (Hamilton) rather than an actual important story (Trump U. fraud). This pattern repeated itself throughout the campaign, helping Trump drive the narrative by redirection. It MUST cease.

Stop feeding President Troll. Just stop. Ignore his tweets. Ignore his I-can’t-believe-he-just-said-that’s. We knew he was a racist, sexist, cruel, mean, selfish, unscrupulous sexual predator before he elected him. We knew it, and people voted for him regardless. Shame on them, but that phase is over. Trump and his ardent disciples do not care about any of this. To the contrary, they, like him, delight in seeing us get upset. So stop!

Instead…

 

II. Scream bloody murder about conflicts of interest

His fame, his wealth, and his outsized personality are compelling, and drove ratings for cable news outfits across the political divide, all of which enjoyed banner years in 2016. (Sidenote: please stop watching cable news). Enough. Donald Trump needs to be covered in the media in the same way a non-celebrity would. The only way that will happen is if we, the consumers of said media, demand it. Which means we need to focus not on the mean tweets, the laughably horrible cabinet appointments, or even the hate crimes perpetrated in his name. (Too, we need to stop talking about why Hillary “lost,” how Bernie would have done better, how Jill Stein voters are to blame for the result…and we need never speak again about Democrats failing the white working class). We need to accept that bad stuff will continue to happen until Trump is removed, and then turn our undivided attention on what will remove him: his unprecedented conflicts of interest.

In short, his many business dealings put him in a position where he cannot act solely on behalf of “we the people.” Here’s an example: Trump carries extensive debt that he owes to the Bank of China. The Bank of China is owned by the government of China. How on earth can he negotiate anything with the Chinese, when he owes them so much money? That we don’t know exactly how much money he owes, because he stillhasn’t released his tax returns, remains a problem.

To cite a more recent, and probably more egregious, example: Trump apparently held an event for foreign diplomats at his new hotel on Pennsylvania Avenue last week. At this event, he encouraged them to rent rooms there. Do you see how that’s a yuuuuge conflict of interest? How he’s using his public office to enrich himself? It also happens to be a violation of the Emoluments Clause of the Constitution, which prohibits the acceptance of gifts from foreign government officials. Unless he sells or gives away the hotel—which he leases from the federal government, another ethical problem—before January 20, he could be impeached the minute he’s sworn in. (Read more about this on Judd Legum’s helpful tweet-string).

The opinion page of the Wall Street Journal, no bastion of liberality, urges Trump to liquidate his assets for just this reason: if he does not, liberals will be able to attack him for it for the entire time he’s president. Because on almost every issue of import, he has a conflict of interest. And this advice was written by folks who support him!

So: from now until January 20, block out the noise. All we should be talking about is the conflicts of interest he’s exposed to by not liquidating his financial empire. That’s all. Everyone in the country needs to understand a) that Trump is in an ethically untenable position, b) why it’s bad for the country that he has so many conflicts of interest, especially with respect to China and Russia, and c) that he needs to liquidate all his assets before he places his short fingers on the Bible on January 20.

Write your representatives and your senators. Write letters to the editor of your local paper. Post about it incessantly on social media. Get the word out!

This must be the narrative for all of December and January, or we’re toast. It has to be put in the starkest, simplest of terms, and it has to have legs. To live at 1600 Pennsylvania, Donald Trump must sell the hotel down the street…and everything else he owns, the real estate holdings, the golf courses, every last divot. (The idea of a blind trust run by his kids is ethically unacceptable, a non-starter).

Basically, we need to make Trump decide which he wants to keep: his business empire or the presidency. If you believe he’ll choose the latter over the former, I have some lovely property in Atlantic City to sell you.

“But then we have Pence,” you might say. True. The thing is…

 

III. Without question, Mike Pence is preferable to Trump.

Yes, Pence is odious. He’s a religious nut-job who hates—hates—gay people. He would be a terrible president.

However, Pence, unlike Trump, is an actual politician with executive experience. He has a baseline competency for the job that Trump lacks (read: he probably won’t start a nuclear war over a mean tweet).

More importantly, Trump’s popularity stems from his personality, around which he has established a cult (or a klan, if you will). No one’s going to swear allegiance to Mike Pence. If Trump resigns or is impeached, Pence will be revealed as a mean-spirited Washington insider who wants to actively discriminate against gay people and work with Paul Ryan to gut entitlement programs. Good luck with that.

When it comes to charisma, Trump is a pound sterling, while Mike Pence is, well, one pence. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but on January 20, I hope it’s him and not Trump being sworn in. Our country’s future, and probably the earth’s, may depend on it.

This is illegal.

This is illegal.

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Dear Artistic Muse

Dear Artistic Muse,

Every day since the election results came in, I have been sitting at a stupor at my desk. Nothing comes. No words, no emotions. Certainly no characters. Just defeat. Muse, you aren’t tapping me on the shoulder or whispering intently in my ear. Because what does it matter to write about someone else’s life when all of our own are so decimated? How can I care about work when a friend, crying, told me how worried she is for her daughter, who is transgender, when no one in my family can sleep, because astonishingly, a lunatic dictator is in office, and he’s bringing in all his friends?

I can’t totally escape the writing world because I’m on book tour now for Cruel Beautiful World. En route to events, I talk to all the Uber and Lyft drivers about the election, but it dismays me that one driver did not even register to vote, and another, a Latino, tells me defensively that “A lot of Latinos supported Trump.” I try to stay calm. “Why?” I ask. “Why did you vote for him?” I tell him calmly that I really want to know, I really want to understand, and he just shrugs.

At readings, people look beaten down, so I try to make what I say matter. In a way, it’s lucky for me that Cruel Beautiful World has something to say about our present situation. It’s about how the hope of the 60s crashed down into the muck of the 1970s, eerily mirroring what is going on now, that terrible disconnect, that fear, that hopelessness. History is on repeat now, and this time, there is a skip in the recording and it sucks even more.

But while I can talk about art and writing and my book, in my hotel at night, on the plane, I still can’t write a word. And I know that it’s not just me who can’t write or create. My other writer friends have all been sledge-hammered, too. I tell myself that if I can’t write, I can do other things. I tend to be the kind of person who thinks I can fix what is wrong, and even though I know I probably cannot, it’s that call to action that makes me feel better. That gives me hope. We writers and friends tweet petitions to each other to sign. We share and re-share John Oliver’s video about how this is not normal, how we can never let it be normal. Each day, there’s some new horror. The KKK-approved Stephen Bannon getting an appointment. Paul Ryan insisting he’s going to gut Medicare and Social Security, and forget about the EPA. Lately, Trump supporters on Twitter are digging up tweets I wrote to Trump supporters two years ago and attacking them, but really, it’s nothing compared to the pre-election tweets when they used my photograph to harass and threaten me. I was on “the list” they told me, and I wasn’t to forget it.

Believe me. I haven’t forgotten.

Sometimes I think that we urban democrats and rural republicans need some way to experience one another’s lives. My son used to watch and love this show, whose name I forget, about these kids who would exchange lives with other kids and then talk about the experience. My favorite episode was about a farm kid who was terrified of going to the city. She became astonished and disturbed that people in NYC had take-out for dinner and had to pick up dog poop, but her urban counterpart, who had worried that rural life would be boring and judgmental, loved working with horses and on the farm. They each went back to their lives at the end of the show, but they had come to understand each other’s needs, at least.

But, of course there is the question, can we understand the needs of the KKK or a Stephen Bannon? Do we want to? How do you talk to someone, as author Arlie Hochschild did in Strangers in our Own Land, who feels that it doesn’t matter that the environment is poisoned, because that’s just for now, and soon everyone will go to Heaven where there is clean air and pure waters, and that’s forever. Should we even try? Isn’t it better to bare witness? To give up your seat for the black woman on the NYC subway who was actually told by a man-spreading young person, “Shut up, I don’t have to do anything for you anymore”?

Lately, I’ve felt flickers of words, like seeds, inside of me. But sitting down to write something that isn’t my name on a petition feels wrong somehow. How can I think about characters and moral choices when dark times are covering us like a wing? But then again, how can I not? My niece and my friend Hillary, a talented novelist, reminds me that Picasso’s response to a terrible war was to paint Guernica, that Angels in America came out of the AIDS crisis. She said that maybe writing is a way of winning, of being true to some of what matters—and that includes art.

Words matter. Maybe they themselves cannot change the world, but they can give us help. They can sharpen our empathy and our resolve, and maybe if we are lucky, they can do the same for others.

 

guernica-picasso-painting-meaning

 

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